Dear Parents

Dear Parents,

You are your own person. I get that. But you are also now a parent. PARENT. That means there is some little kid who loves you and looks up to you. No matter what. Even if you are the biggest douche on the planet. So how about you stop being a turd and be a parent. That means don't do anything that gets you sent to jail!

Thank you,

the teacher who has to deal with the little boy who's dad is going to jail

(and "deal" is a bad word, how about love on because you're such an idiot the kid is falling apart. )

Zombie 5K

After not running for many years, I decided to start again this summer. My first race since high school was a sweet little fall competition celebrating the running of the Zombies. Some smart alec posted on his fb last spring about the scourge of zombieism. How it is really affecting our communities. How there should be a fundraiser run to find a cure for being a zombie. So...

Runners could sign up to be zombies (and get to dress up) or as survivors (and get a head start). Now, why in the world would anyone want to be a survivor? But, yes, I made it. Who's doing it with me next year?

Why I love the Vampire Diaries

'Nuff said.

Nifty Fifty

Because my brain hurts too much to do report cards...

1. What time did you get up this morning? Get up or wake up? Big difference. Woke up around 6 something when some large truck rolled by and Ava decided to go bark at it. Got up about 7:35. Yep, I know you're jealous.

2. How do you like your steak? Medium-rare.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Inception

4. What is your favorite TV show? Vampire Diaries

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Hmm, Montana if I could move my family there from WA and my Utah friends

6. What did you have for breakfast? Last of the blueberry muffins. But I think I inhaled part of one and it hurts.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian

8. What foods do you dislike? Unmelted cheese, cauliflower, lima beans, corned beef

9. Favorite Places to eat? Texas Road House, that Brazilian steak house at Trolley Square, Olive Garden, Jakers, Iron Horse

10. Favorite dressing? Ranch, although I'm coming around to Italian.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Jeep

12. What are your favorite clothes? Flip flops, cute dresses, tank tops, basically non-school approved attire

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Australia, Tahiti, Caribbean, New York

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Probably 1/2 empty but I'm working not to be such a grouch.

15. Where would you want to retire? ??? But I do know I want an RV so I can go visit college towns to watch football in the fall.

16. Favorite time of day? 11:35 lunch with my ladies

17. Where were you born? Vancouver, WA

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? College football

22. Bird watcher? No. Except when that pigeon lived on my porch.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night Owl. Although now that I'm getting old I might become an afternoon person.

24. Do you have any pets? Ava Montana Thompson

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I'm running three miles at a time and have lost weight. In my chest. Oh, wait, you said exciting news.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? According to the newspaper interview I did in preschool, I wanted to be "a dinosaur, scientist, or nurse." Unfortunately, the "journalist" was not supposed to include the first comma. I wanted to be a paleontologist!

33. Favorite pizza toppings? Black olives!

34. Favorite flower? Roses

35. Favorite ice cream? Mint Chocolate Chip or cookie dough, since I've been informed eating straight cartons of cookie dough is not really appropriate.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? McDonald's

43. What was your favorite vacation? Jenna's wedding in Hawaii

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Uh, I can't remember. But I'm going out tonight!

45. What are you listening to right now? The heating system at school

46. What is your favorite color? Purple!

47. How many tattoos do you have? None. The only tattoo I would ever get would be the Olympic rings if I ever competed in the games.

48. How many piercings? Six.

49. Favorite Childhood Toy? Gray kitty, blue baby, cabbage patch, the boys' big wheels

50. Coffee drinker? Ew, I like my caffeine in coke form.

Tired and headachy

Check out that time stamp. Yep, I'm leaving school at 6:03. This week has exhausted me. I've been trying to finish the final draft of one of my national board entries. I'm writing grants since I just found out I'm only gettin $50 bucks for legislative money (which I've already spent.) I put together my new book shelf and then proceeded to break one of my old ones trying to move it. So I'm exhausted. And my head hurts. So I'm going home now. And hopefully having a drink.

Funny Kids

As the kids were getting ready for lunch yesterday, Robyn lets out a little burp. She turns, looks at me, and says excuse me. With a grin she continues, "I get that from my mom." Without skipping a beat, she continues, "I get the other end from my dad."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I teach.

BYU skirts too short? Freakingly hilarious!

There seems to be a controversy down at BYU over girls wearing skirts that are not knee length or longer. Those poor boys are being exposed to the scandalous knee cap!!!! They might have impure thoughts and damage their priesthood and maybe even abuse their "little factories!" Please see the following blog post (warning: this is written by an exmormon for those of you who don't want to read non-church propaganda, uh, information, but this post is okay) for even more thoughts on the issue from a slightly sarcastic view point. http://cognitivedissenter.com/?p=1684

Race to the Top?

No Child Left Behind became No Test Left Behind. What will Race to the Top become?

For those of you that don't know, the federal government has a new plan for to improve education! It is going to be great! We just know it! (I'm way to young to be this cynical.) Basically, the feds set up a grant program and asked states to apply for mucho dinero in exchange for "their" ideas on improving education. (Whose ideas? Oh, read on. The following quotes are from a New York Times article from today.)

"The creativity and innovation in each of these winning applications is breathtaking,” Mr. Duncan said. (Arne Duncan is the Secretary of Education, or something like that.)

Well, that sounds great. This is what I've been begging for. During our horrendous PD day, we were repeatedly told we needed to do better for our students. And I kept asking, "How?" Give me some examples, some ideas, something concrete. But no help there, just "do better."

"In both rounds, Mr. Duncan selected the winning states after judges assigned a rank to each state’s proposal. The competition was designed to reward what President Obama considers exemplary educational ideas and practice, in hopes that other states will adopt similar practices. The president’s goals include expanding the number and quality of charter schools, updating the way school districts evaluate teachers’ effectiveness, improving student data-tracking systems to help educators know what students have learned and what must be retaught, and turning around thousands of the lowest-performing schools." (my emphasis)

Whoa, back up. What happened to "creativity and innovation?" Now, you're saying the states who wrote grants that reflected Obama's goals were the winners? (By the way, ALL the winners, except Hawaii, were east coast states.) Where the HELL does Obama get off deciding what will be successful? I am so sick of politicians, business people, anyone but educators deciding what will work in education!

I can tell you the number one thing that would help me: less kids! Don't get me wrong; I love my class! Why else would I be doing all the work I've done this off-track? But give me more time with each one and imagine what they could do! GGGRRRRR!!!!

Finished Mockingjay

If you don't want to know details about the book, don't read further!


I'm not kidding.



Here's your last chance...



Cinna is President Snow!!!!


Okay, just kidding, but really MJ was all over the place. Right, now I'm feeling quite disappointed in things. Maybe it was that I was so excited about this book and nothing could really hold up to that, but I am feeling very unfulfilled and rather sad. This is going to be rambling since I haven't had a chance to discuss the book with anyone yet.

This book felt very different from all the others and forced at times. Obviously, we knew there wouldn't be a Hunger Games after the rebellion but the repeated attempts to make the rebellion/war into the 76th Hunger seemed weak.

I enjoyed the action in the book and thought most of it was well written. Some parts were more violent than in the other books but none touched me the way prior deaths have. Too me there is a real difference between the death of a child in the Hunger Games and the death of a rebel or Peacekeeper. Choice has a lot to do with it.

Overall, the book had a much darker feel to it. This morning I even remarked that I didn't feel like there was any good way out of it. No matter if the Capital or the Rebels won things were going to be bad. The ending seemed to confirm this. In fact, this was somewhat of a highlight to me. Collins has talked about how her books are about the brutalities of war and she did a great job of showing it. Gale designing bombs, Katniss shooting the woman in her house, Coin's many misdeeds...the ends justifying the means in too many cases. War makes people do ugly things and when it is over, are things better?

Unfortunately, just when I thought Collins was going to really hit this, she took the easy way out by laying all the blame on Coin. While she definitely was not Innocent, I don't think Coin was evil like President Snow. In fact, I believe Collins realized this too and that is why she slipped in the ridiculous discussion of a future Hunger Games to the Victors. She had to find a way to make the reader hate Coin. All the subtlety was gone at this point. Perhaps Collins felt she needed to do this because it was a YA book, but I think she could have had much more interesting interpretations if Coin was blatantly a villain.

I felt as if Collins was off with her characters throughout the book. I've mentioned Coin and I felt only a few of the new District 13 characters were fleshed out enough (particularly Boggs and Plutarch). Having Peeta missing from a large portion at the beginning was awkward and I'm sure annoyed the Team Peeta crew. Being Team Gale myself, I was happy to see him finally have a starring role to play. I enjoyed learning more about him and seeing him do more than just be the silent hunting partner.

Yet, I also felt Collins failed both Peeta and Gale, particularly in the end. Peeta needed more time to come back to Katniss. I could have accepted the ending better if there had been more time for him to recover his self before going to be with Katniss. Having someone mess with not just your brain but your memories should have taken much longer than a few months to overcome.

Gale got screwed. If you've read my predictions, you'll know I didn't think Katniss would survive. Partly, I thought this would be because I didn't believe she would ever pick either G or P and Collins would be able to leave both of the boys broken-hearted. Collins chickened out by having her end up with Peeta. This was not a series that should have had a happy ending. Katniss was a damaged soul. One of the few things she firmly believed throughout the books was that she wouldn't get married and have children. But the Hunger Games are over, you might argue. This goes back to Peeta's psychological trauma. I just don't see Katniss being able to get over what she had been through during the games, the rebellion, and the final chapters of the book. After losing so much, I don't see her being strong enough to create her own family and certainly not in the ruins of District 12.

I really did not like the last bit of the book. After Prim's death, I could understand Katniss never being able to forgive Gale. Even if he had no responsibility in the bombing (and he definitely had no DIRECT respon.), looking at him would always remind her of Prim and Rue and everything else she had lost.

But Peeta also got screwed. I have always felt as if Katniss was using him. Rarely did she do it consciously but it occurred over and over. One of the few times she knew it was occurring was in the train when she would let him sleep over so she wouldn't have nightmares. But she always went to him when she needed comfort. I don't feel like she ever gave him comfort or really even thought of him beyond a friend. It was well-established how Peeta loved her but I always felt as if it were rather one sided.

I'm going to stop typing now but I may be back with more observations. When you finish reading MJ, feel free to call me to discuss.

So much for a life...

So, Heather, remember when I told you this morning I was having trouble coming up with a project for my off-track time? Guess I have one!

I was just informed I received a fully-funded scholarship for the National Board Certification process. Great news. I'm the type of dork who enjoys continuing education. This program is a HUGE process and will take the whole year. For those of you who don't know, there are two main parts. The first is based on reflections of my classroom teaching. This will involve video taping my class and writing lots about what I observed, what I would change, etc. Did I mention lots of writing? The second part is a series of tests about my knowledge of my curriculum.

I'm confident in both my knowledge base and my writing (BS) skills. But it will be a huge commitment. The pluses are if I want to transfer to WA to teach it will be very easy and potentially there is a slight raise (if Jordan School District continues to support it). So if you don't see me much in the next year, now you know why. :)

Missoula Trip

After finishing the school year on July 2, I hustled up to Missoula to celebrate the Fourth with friends. We ended up bbqing at CJ and Heather's and watching the fireworks from their driveway. Here's Ava making herself at home in my hosts' laps.



The next day the rain moved in and there were the most beautiful rainbows across town. This one was bigger than the viewfinder on my camera.


Having nothing better to do, Ava and I hiked the M trail in the rain. Here's a view of Missoula from the hill at sunset.



Success! Ava is a stud! She pulled me up the trail and was rather impatient with me stopping at every switchback. She really wanted to get the trailmix someone dropped and didn't want anything to do with this picture.






The next day I visited a friend on campus and took this postcard-perfect shot. Can you see the switchbacks going up to the M? A mile and a half, 620 vertical feet, and 11 switchbacks. Yes, I stopped at each one.

New Class

My FIFTH class of fourth graders started today! Wow, I'm starting to feel old. I think this will be a good group. They are cute, listen well, and, looking on the bright side, they have lots of room to improve academically. I think things will shake out to only having 25. Now maybe the back-to-school nightmares and sleeplessness will end! On to day two!

Summer Reading

Just finished this book. The author was Assistant Secretary of Education in the first Bush administration. She has gone back and forth on the issues of school choice (vouchers, charters) and accountability (testing). Being a teacher, a lot of the info is nothing new but the history behind why these issues are popular was very interesting.

I wish she'd spent more time on ways to fix education. She pointed out lots of flaws and why choice and accountability don't work but not many solutions. Her major fixes are:

• National curriculum - Every child should have a set of common educational ideas. It illegal for the US government to make a national curriculum mandatory but if states volunteer it is okay. This is very close to fruition today but would have been adopted in the 80s except for the history curriculum. Lynn Cheney threw a fit over the "liberal" ideas in the history curriculum and because of all the publicity most districts gave up on the idea.
• Having educators make decisions, not politicians or businessmen. Agreed although I find it interesting that Ravitch was never a teacher but feels free to comment on all of this.
• Family involvement early in children's lives. Duh. Unfortunately, our society no longer supports this. The famous KIPP schools in inner cities are excelling because parents and kids are expected to be respectful and participate. (Of course, the success of these schools is overstated since the kids who don't want to follow the expectations drop out of these schools and return to public schools which are required to educate them.)
• Higher wages for teachers, not merit-based. Agreed but good luck with that. :) I'm afraid merit pay is here to stay.
• Expect charter schools to educate the students who need them most. Instead of letting charter schools "skim the cream," they should work with the children that are not finding success in public schools and experiment to see if they can find success. Charters were originally designed as laboratories for teachers to experiment with new techniques.

Now we all know statistics can be manipulated and of course Ravitch used the ones that supported her position, but I see no benefit to charter schools. About 10% of charters were shown to be much more successful than public schools, about 10% were way worse, but most were in the middle. Of course, most had half as many ELL, sped, and minority students as the comparable schools in the area. Hmm, wonder how good my tests scores would be if I didn't have to count my ELL kid?

Now, as I said earlier, I like the idea of variety. Kids are so different from one another and need different environments to learn. But my problem with charters has to do with their connection to public schools. Because of the discrepancies between school demographics, comparisons should not be made between the two models. Secondly, public schools lose funding to charters. Third, if the popularity of charters continues, public schools are going to be left with the non-cream of the crop.

Solutions? Well, I'm not sure myself. (Otherwise, this would be a book and I would be rich.) But I've been shocked by the lack of research behind teaching ideas. Education is fad based and the fads just seem to circle around and around without any proof of success or failure. Balanced literacy and PLCs were mentioned in this book as being adopted in the mid-90s. (Hmm, JSD seems to be a little behind.) When research is done, it is usually done by or funded by folks with a stake in the results.

With my business background and strong belief in capitalism, I struggle being a part of public service. I think this is one of the huge problems today. Politicians and the media rip apart schools and teachers for not being able to produce results, while teachers try to point out the variety of raw materials we have to work with. Teachers, on the other hand, fight accountability tooth and nail, even though it is ridiculous to think an employee should not be reviewed in some way. Unfortunately, neither side makes an effort to understand the others point of view and so success is not achieved.

Well, I seem to have felt the need to write a paper so if you've read this far thanks for doing so. Enjoy your summer!

Things my class did not learn this year

Our class went to a kindergarten class for a fourth grade meeting this morning. One of the rugs with squares was in the room but it was set at an angle to the front of the room. Well, I wanted my kids in rows facing the front of the room. They could not figure it out! Each one was seated in their own square at an angle to the front. They just couldn't get over their K training of sitting in their own squares. Oh, well.

So Done

I'd like to apologize to those of you who have put up with me lately. I'm so done with school.

I'm grouchy and short with the kids because, honestly, I am so tired of telling the SAME kids the SAME things over and over and being ignored. Kind of makes me wonder why I try.

I'm tired of having to babysit an adult. Evidently, common sense is not a trait for every person. I'm so annoyed and over it. I do my job; why can't you do yours? And if you can't do your job, why do you still have it? (I suppose this is what the above kids will be like when they grow up.)

Why can't things be better organized? Fourth grade lunch has started at the same time all year long. Maybe we should be done with things by then. I'm so tired of asking for things to be cleaned or attended to (that should have been taken care of) and then be made to feel like I'm the one who's causing problems. Gee, I'm sorry I don't want any kids burning up during a fire because no one know how to run a drill.

I'm just tired and I know I'm being bitchy. Thanks for putting up with me.

Appreciative Parents

I sent out emails today asking for parents to donate things for our multiplication party. Although other teachers do this, I felt weird asking parents to donate to me so I could reward their kids. Evidently, the parents didn't think it was weird at all. They were so generous and I had all the supplies spoken for by lunch time.

But the best part were the things they had to say about me! I've always said I don't need presents at the end of the year-I'd rather hear if they appreciated me. Wow! Such kind things. After the beating we teachers have been getting lately, it is nice to know some people respect us.

My favorite: You are really one of those teachers making a difference.

(Had to brag a little, hope you don't mind)

Things you shouldn't put on your online dating profile...

...and, yes, I have seen each of these.

Want kids: No
Have kids: Yes
(Wow, think you have some issues to work out there)

The improper use of there/their/they're
(You don't have to be a genius, but at least try to impress with your profile. It is like not proof-reading a resume.)

Photos of you and a chick with her boobs falling out
(Obviously you have no problem meeting women)

Photo of you taking your own picture in a mirror
(Really? You don't have any other pictures of yourself?)

Great profile, hot picture, ends with "oh, and I'm moving to Alabama soon"
(I was ready to contact this one up until the last line.)

What is with the motorcross obsession? Are you required to date online if you race motorcycles?

Check one: Single, divorced, widowed, seperated
(Folks, you should not be dating if you are seperated-get a divorce first!)

31 year old men who look 50 or 14
(Couldn't you have found a more flattering photo? I know this isn't your fault but it sucks for me.)

Ugh, being single sucks.

Why I am now in jail...

I'm going to kill him. Really. I've made it to the last three weeks of school but I don't think he's going to make it. The kids are testing right now and he is doing ANYTHING but! Examining his hair. Checking out his biceps. Staring at Spencer's back. Asking me questions about what we are doing this afternoon. When I do walk by, he starts filling in answers for questions he hasn't even gotten to yet. I want to cry! Time to go walk by again. (praying for patience.)

Zombieland

Dudes, Zomibieland rocked. It is full of the f-word so if you can't handle that stay clear. But it was hilarious. Just saying.

Bathroom Touch ups

This is the guest bathroom where it all started. White walls were boring me so I decided to paint.
Which led to painting the master bath as well. By the way, my new camera has a "smile finder" feature. Guess which feature in this picture was identified as a "smile?" Gotta love technology!

And so it continued...I hate painter's tape. It doesn't work and just causes a mess.

But I appear to have finished painting! Now I'm using my manly skills to install a new shower bar. I heart power tools!
Look at the intense concentration!
Action shot! (It is HARD to take a picture of yourself, balance on the side of the tub, and pretend to use a drill all at once. Don't ask me why my chest looks so deformed-at least I didn't fall!)

Ta-da! Second new shower bar installed! (did the guest bath already; sorry, no pics of that one)
Finished project! Now I just need the bath mats at Target to go on sale so I can get new ones. Yay me!

Happy Day!

Soo happy for my friends Marcy and Aaron! Brand new parents! Two beautiful, darling boys! I'm going to cry now! Yay for them!

I may have to become a democrat...

Now I know I'll be preaching to the choir here, since most of you are teachers, but I figure some of you may not have heard about this debacle yet. Florida's Republican legislature just passed a horrid bill that is currently waiting for the governor's signature. This article is quite biased but it gives a good overview.

Senate Bill 6 would:
*Require that school systems evaluate and pay teachers primarily on the basis of student test scores. Testing experts say this is an invalid assessment tool.

*Require that experience, advanced degrees or professional certification not be considered when paying teachers.

*Require that new teachers be put on probation for five years and then work on one-year contracts, which would allow any principal to easily get rid of any teacher who bothered them in any way.

*Require the creation of new annual tests for every subject that is not measured already by state assessments or other tests, such as the Advanced Placement and International Baccalaureate end-of-course tests.

But it is Florida; why should I care? This is the direction our country is headed with education! Obama got a lot of teachers on board by saying he'd overhaul No Child Left Behind. Well, he's doing it. Have you heard of Race to the Top? Basically, he wants states to support charter schools and he wants teachers' salaries based on test scores. So it is NCLB but instead of schools failing, we as teachers will fail.

Now before anyone thinks this is just sour grapes: My test scores rock. I teach at a school that has parental support, is middle class, and does not have a lot of ESL students (not that there is anything wrong with them; they just have a harder time passing CRTs). I would probably get a raise, depending on the system. But it will destroy the public education system! Who is going to teach in a poor school? Who is going to teach ESL or resource kids? Why would anyone teach, period?

The profession is so looked down upon it makes me want to cry. Yes, there are bad teachers. But that is not the fault of other teachers. It is the fault of cowardly administrators who are too lazy to use the termination processes that are already in place. Get rid of the crappy teachers everyone (teachers, parents, kids) knows exist.

I will be all for merit pay when two things happen. One, individual children are tracked year to year. Did Johnny make a year's worth of progress? If he started fourth grade on a second grade level and I got him up to 3rd, then he made a year's progress. No, he's not on grade level yet but I did my job. Don't punish Johnny or me when we both did our job in 4th grade. (Don't get me started on inflated grades and social promotion!)

Two, teachers do not all receive the same "input." Everyone is comparing teaching to a business. In a factory, I'm required to produce a set product, say a tv. All the components I am provided must meet certain requirements before they come to me. I must have a working machine and the appropriate materials or my "output," the tv, will not be acceptable.

In the teaching field, my "input," the student, is never consistent. I get many children that start fourth grade below grade level. According to these new requirements, that doesn't matter. I still have to have every child on the fourth grade level by the end of the year. It doesn't matter what I start with!

I'm am very lucky to teach in a "normal" school. Most kids are on grade level or close to it, most have supportive parents, and most still care about school. But I am still shocked by some of the "input" I get. In four years with fourth grade I've had: a resource girl score a 9% on a CRT test (you could guess all A and do better), a parent show up for an IEP high as a kite, a boy who had been in the country for one year and didn't know the language or how to behave in a classroom, a home schooled child who was many years behind, kids with rotten teeth from no dental care, parents who go a whole year without ever meeting me, a parent (who hates me) who referred to his son as the "dumb one," should I go on?

Yes, give us merit pay and watch our public education system go down the drain. Rant over for tonight.

Weight

For my 31st birthday, I had a goal weight and I'm happy to say I made it! Not telling what it is because everyone has different goals but I'm happy. I haven't been at this weight since 2001! Of course, part of the reason I happen to remember weighing this in 2001 was that I was utterly shocked to weight so much at the time.

The good news is my clothes are fitting better, although some of my favorite pants are getting too big to wear. Guess it is time to go shopping! TMI warning: Bad news is my boobs are shrinking. They looked pretty sad and saggy this morning. Poor me.

My next goal is to continue to lose some more poundage but to also get some muscle back. My arms are pretty shapeless and that ain't pretty! I've been doing lunges around the house as I play catch with Ava. Yep, she thinks I look pretty weird too!

Husband Pros and Cons

No big news to share. This is not an announcement since the only new man in my life was the locksmith who broke into my car this morning after I locked myself out. But just things that go through my head. Yes, I think and worry too much.

Pros to getting married:

• The thought of having someone who loves me for me is wonderful. I'm a bit odd (no comments, please) and it would take a pretty cool person to put up with and enjoy that.
• Companionship. Sometimes it sucks to eat by myself or go to events by myself. I worry that after my parents are gone, I won't have anyone to listen to me or to hang out with for holidays. Sounds lonely.
• Getting to use those 2 for 1 coupons in the Happenings book.
• Sex. Uh, yeah, it has been way too long since I even kissed a guy.
• Physical affection other than the above. I like to cuddle and wrestle.
• Financially a second salary would be nice. I comfortably pay for my needs and occasional wants but a second salary would allow for extra wants.
• Babies! Of course, this would mean less "wants" for me. :) Grandkids for the parents.

Cons to getting married:

• Having a roommate. I don't do well with roommates. I don't like picking up after others or not being able to have "space." Maybe I should have listened to that lesson about sharing in preschool.
• Alone time. I was once described as an introvert who trained herself to be an extrovert. After being around people all day, I need to go home and be alone.
• Ava will not like sharing the bed or her mama's affections.
• I suppose I would have to actually shower and brush my teeth everyday. (Sometimes this doesn't happen if I don't leave the house.) Don't worry, if you come over I'll freshen up.
• Boy dirtiness in the bathroom. Boys can be gross. Ick. Hmm, maybe I'll just make him use the guest bathroom. Problem solved.

Looking over the lists, the pro list is much more persuasive. With the exception of the alone time con, all the other cons are just minor annoyances. So why am I not getting married? (Since I drink beer, watch football and look good in a bikini?)

Because I am picky. I'm quite happy being single and I don't want to settle for just anyone (did you know there is a book out right now encouraging women to settle?). I see way too many people with someone just so they can be married. So if you have someone nice, smart and attractive to hook me up with, please do.

If you want to hook me up with someone just because he is single and I am single, please don't. (Had a groomsman hit on me once by telling me he had been asking about me and found out I was the only single girl so he figured he'd hit on me. Thanks, what part of that was supposed to impress me?) He doesn't have to have Matt Damon good looks or Albert Einstein smarts, but he should have some redeeming qualities beyond singleness. Thank you.

Suck It Suck It

It has been brought to my attention by my potty mouthed little sister that the term "suck it" is classless. She felt she needed to let me know to save me from the rath of any pure-eared Utahans. Well, I suppose she is right. If you really get down to it, "suck it" is quite inappropriate. Which is a shame because I don't necessarily mean it in its truest form. I just like to use it to say "take that."

It is kind of like the mother of all swear words, the f-bomb, but slightly more appropriate. Once upon a time, I had a bit of a potty mouth. The f-word was my favorite. Now I never really used it as a sexual term but it was just a great expletive. It rolls off the tongue quite nicely and feels quite good to spit out. It can be used as just about any part of speech and really fits for many occasions.

Of course having grown up a bit and moving into polite society, I have pretty much eliminated that beloved word from my vocabulary. But I must admit to having a substitute that I throw out from time to time: frack. The background story on this word is that it is the "f-word" in the Battlestar Galactica series. (Yes, I'm a geek.) Most people don't know what it means but it gets the meaning across and the ck at the end is a nice thing to spit out while mad.

I've never really understood why some words are considered "bad." But I accept that society doesn't like them and so I don't either (mostly). The thing I find hypocritical is how swearing is so looked down upon in Utah but many people have no problem throwing out the substitute words: flipping, frick, etc. Isn't the sin in swearing the thought behind it? Anger, frustration, etc. Shouldn't we be learning ways to manage the feeling instead of using substitute words and feeling good about ourselves? Or maybe we should just throw out a suck it or frack once in a while and not get so upset over a word?

(Please note: I obviously know that as a teacher I should never be using these words in front of children and I don't. Although I did show some bare breasted women the other day.)

Back to School!

First day back to MY class was great. I've missed them and they really are turning into a good class. Definitly maturing! I swear one of the boys grew four inches over break! It makes it so nice to teach when you have enthusiastic kids who respect you and work hard.

Confession time. I peeked at their "confidental" school surveys. No names and I didn't bother to figure out the handwriting. Thankful no one turned me in for showing naked pictures like that dear kiddo from two years ago. Lots of them mentioned the best part of school was their teacher! That they felt respected by me! Yea! I hope they know how much I care about "my" kiddies.

Downside of the day was finishing off the last of the Valentines' Day Skittles. Ugh, blew my diet big time. I've been tracking my food intake and trying to keep in a certain range. Not being real militant about it but trying. Today was HORRIBLE! Oh, well, now the Skittles are gone and tomorrow will be better!

Subbing throught the grades

What I have learned the last few weeks as I subbed throughout the school:

6th: Out of control! These kids don't shut up. Ever. Or think. No I'm not going to tell you the answer to the problem, use the brain God gave you and figure it out.

5th: Love them. Miss them. Not out of control yet. Still listen to their teacher. Love the curriculum.

4th: Miss you! Even excited to return to my kiddos!

3rd: Little loves aren't very good about being quiet either. They are in for a shock next year. What? I have to line up when the bell rings? I have to be quiet in line and in the hall? I have to raise my hand and not just yell out whatever I want in class? But they sent me home with several pictures and compliments!

2nd: So enthusiastic for school! Actually cheered when I told them it was time for math. Cheered more when I told them the problems might be tough but I thought they'd be smart enought to figure them out. Love it!

1st: Didn't sub for them this time but they had me exhausted by lunch time the last time I tried it.

K: Haven't taught yet but I remember how dirty I would get when I volunteered in the preschool. Love walking by and hearing your songs!

There is definitly a reason why we all teach the ages we do!

The Adoration of Jenna Fox

Since I didn't fall asleep until sometime after 3 this morning, my grand plan of going snowboarding got derailed. After napping most of the morning I started reading The Adoration of Jenna Fox. I can't tell you much about the plot because the whole story is about Jenna learning about herself. She wakes up from a year long coma and can't remember who she is but does remember things she might know from text books.

Up until the last two chapters I really liked the book. The format and writing style were a little different from what I usually enjoy but the plot was interesting and I obviously didn't put it down all afternoon. But here's my complaint: the last two chapters completely went against the Jenna that was revealed throughout the book. The author completely destroyed the story for me by having Jenna act in a completly un-Jenna way.

Now it gets even more interesting. There is an interview in the back of the book with the author. The interviewer asks the author if she ever had a different ending. The author replies she did! She was originally going to end the book a little earlier but while running on her treadmill one day a new ending popped into her head and she had to go write it all down. Uh, hon, stay off the treadmill. Your brain was obviously a bit oxygen deprived because your new ending took away from the rest of your great book and betrayed your main character.

Oh, and who wants to start a book club so I don't have to type out my book reviews?

Catching Fire Sequel

Coming August 24!

Spoilers! If you haven't read Hunger Games and Catching Fire, don't read this post.

I love these books. Like, super-duper love them. I just re-read Jessica's copies that were being passed around all the teachers and they were even better the second time. Since the next book, Mockingjay, is coming out in only six monthes I thought I'd tell you what I want to happen in it.

Okay, here come the spoilers...don't say I didn't warn you.

As some of you know, I am Team Gale all the way. I LOVED the end of CF when he greeted Katniss in the ship with the words, "There is no District 12." He needed to be the one to share that with her. I'm guessing the action will pick up from there but I've been wrong before. I thought CF would have more to do with K and P's visits to the different districts.

My hope for Mockingjay is that we get to see some things from G's point of view. I'd love some flashbacks of him watching the games with K's family. What were his thoughts about what she went through and how K and P got along? What part did he play in the rebellion? How did he manage to get out? I have so many questions.

My prediction for the book is that not all of the main three characters (K, G, and P) are going to make it out alive. Obviously, death comes often in these books and I don't think Collins will take the easy route of a perfectly happy ending. While many people see K ending up with one of the boys, I'm going out on a limb and saying SHE will be the one who dies in the end. I do think she'll make some sort of sacrifice to save either one of the boys or her sister.

Other questions:

Why does President Snow smell like blood? Oh, my gosh he is so stinking evil!

Did K's dress designer survive his beating?

Background info on anyone or everyone (I think K and G's dads were killed because they were starting a little uprising of their own!)

So in case you can't tell, this is my all time favorite series (sorry Harry!) and I can't wait until August 24. Any thoughts from you?

Voice of Reason: The Mormon Wedding Post

Voice of Reason: The Mormon Wedding Post

If you have ever attended a Utah wedding, you must read this. So true. Please don't hate me if your wedding resembled any of these.

They can't add!!!!!!!!!!

This is why teachers' salaries should not be based on their students' test scores.

1/2 - 1/4 does not equal 3/4!!!!!!!!!!! It would if the sign was a + but it is a -. From this I have learned one third of my class will be unable to read a pregnancy test.

The perimeter of an object is found by adding up all the sides. (so far so good) But 6+5+4 does not equal 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I am responsible for teaching fourth graders to ADD I quit! They get how to do perimeter (what I teach) but can't add so their answer is wrong! AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Oh, but we have all seen Avatar (except the teacher) and have ipods and cell phones. At least I think I have them convinced Martin Luther King did not free the slaves, although one of my boys keeps calling MLK a negro.

Thank goodness I'm going off track in two weeks!

Sperm please!

Yes, you read that right. According to this lovely article, now that I am over thirty I have less than 12% of my eggs left. If I don't have a baby by 35, almost all my little ovums will be gone. Frack! Not my fault the stupid dad for my little one hasn't shown his face yet. Like I need something else to make me feel like an old spinster. Thank you Mother Nature!

Good for me!

Went to the doctor for a check up today. In the last year I have lost 12 pounds. Yeah me! Laying off the cheese sure seemed to help. Now if I can just get motivated to exercise I will be cute and tiny like Anne!