I just want to scream. Or pull my hair out. Or, I just don't know, I just want to shut everything out and skip over the next few days.
"Hi. What are you up to tomorrow night. Would you like to come to the rehearsal dinner?"
What sort of world am I in? How in the hell could someone think this is a good thing to ask me? Why does he keep asking?!?
I just can't even breathe. I just want it all to be done. I want my old friend back. I don't want this idiot. I don't understand this person. I don't want to hate him. I just can't believe this is actually happening.
This isn't supposed to be how it works. I don't know why, because I always expect things to go wrong, but I always *knew* it would work out with him. Nothing else ever felt that good. That's why I never gave up. Too many Disney movies I suppose. Doing/being good =/= getting rewards. I hate this.
Just stop hurting. Just stop thinking. Just stop remembering. Just stop.
2 comments:
suzanne... i hate this for you. i'm so sorry you're hurting. i think you might need to cut him out completely, i know this will be hard, but for your own peace of mind, necessary. or just give him a piece of your mind like "why in the fuck would i go to your rehearsal dinner? so i can see what a bad choice you're making? do you want me to tell her what a lie she is walking into?" maybe he wants an out and is hoping you'll do it for him. turd. you're better off. i know it hurts and is hard to see, but it is the truth. love you.
p.s. i'm sorry i swore. feel free to delete if you feel the need.
Post a Comment